I choke back on the words trying to rise up. I tighten my body's frame so that almost nothing of me is
left. When did I become my own guard and my own enemy? Something has to change.
My animal heart beats against its cage. My primal desires were never meant to be tamed or confined.
What will happen when I release my wild self to run free and love fiercely?
Sometimes the pieces need to fall. I let the facade be broken, and sit in the shock of my reality.
It hurts to open up to the pain that has been locked away. Old wounds feel as fresh as the day they
were made. Today, I have given them space to breathe.
I need to feel safe. Creating a cocoon of familiarity and control, with little space for disruption, makes
me feel safe. I need to be held tight, even if it makes me complacent. Even if I am ready to emerge, I'll
tie myself down in order to keep my cocoon intact. I like it here just the way things are—safe.
There is ecstasy in change. There is ecstasy in peeling away what we have outgrown in ourselves and
revealing what is newly evolving. It is the ecstasty of undressing before a lover for the first time.
Sometimes we need to pass through, but the mind believes it is impossible. What seems impenetrable
cannot be pushed through with the mind. It is the heart that knows the way. When the heart opens,
letting go of grief, resentment, hatred, and fantasies, the wall is transformed into a gate.
Thank you to the earth and the ancestors who were wise enough to know that a time would come for
me to open. Thank you for giving me the choice to lay dormant for a time, when I felt all I could do
was run away and never come back. Thank you for your support when I needed stability and strength.
Thank you for your stewardship. I am ready to awaken.
I am not a hillside to be mined, or a barrier to be tunneled through. I am the treasure to be found inside.
My trusted self awaits, ready to be discovered, waiting to shine out through the darkness.
I am lost, tired, naked, and alone. All I want to do is lie down, go to sleep, and forget. But I cannot
ignore the fierce spark that shouts, I will keep you warm, I am here with you, I will help you navigate.
You are worth it. I am reminded of the brightness of grace that is always with me.
I don't want to look. I don't want to do this. I want a way that feels easier. The last strands may be
illuminated, but I want to remain in my unwillingness to face what is at the surface.
The more I hide behind the illusion of what I think I should be, the more I become blind to what is in
front of me. When there is nowhere left to hide, I take the risk. I am in awe of the world revealed.
I don't know the depth of the water or what lies beneath the surface. But I can trust that the water will
hold me. Here is the opportunity to release my fear of the unknown, to breathe in the mystery and just
The rigid mental patterns that have determined my actions and reactions in the past no longer function
in the present. Like cobwebs, they can be cleared away. What new patterns do I want to create for
myself, to better serve who I am now?
Here I draw on my wisdom and the paths of my heart. I stand in the moment before a choice is made.
The stillness of inaction steadies my compass. Whatever path I choose, I do so from my authority.
Just as a tree is made of rings that show the passing of time, my body is built on the gates I have passed
through. My spirit grows into what I am becoming this life.
From the chaos of the Earth, a pattern emerges. What is possible when we let go of that which limits
us? What can be made in this physical world if we let something beyond ourselves show us what to
create? It is endless.
There are times to listen to the resonance of truth in what is being spoken. There are times when we are called to take the lead, open up to our true voice and speak. There is a power in speaking the truth that resonates beyond what our ears can hear.
Here is the true seat of my authority. I hold my heart sacred while witnessing all parts of myself. I
become stronger than external events, bigger than my story. I am the queen of my life.